TF2Chan Request (S)extravaganza: Mysteries of Pyro


In everyone’s mind, Pyro was pretty much an amorphous blob of indeterminate origin, so nobody noticed it acting stranger than usual or starting to grow extraneous lumps in and around its belly region until a stray rocket exploded in just the right way and the rest of the team found themselves standing in a shower of white spherical objects. The Medic was the first to try picking one up, and found them soft to the touch but with a surprising amount of resistance. He was about to cut it open to see what was inside when he heard the Pyro storming its way back to the front, clanging its ax against the walls as it raised its warning cry to all who would listen:

“HRNDS HFF MRHH BHHBHHS!”

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