Edgar Roni Figaro

Life’s Little Triumphs—Edgar Roni Figaro
a mini-series by Dot


Sabin watched with disdain as Edgar bid farewell to Celes in his usual, extravagant way.  Celes, of course, paid no attention to Edgar’s flirting; Locke, on the other hand, looked like he was ready to strangle Edgar with his bare hands.

“Don’t you ever give up, brother?” Sabin asked after the couple left.

Edgar smiled.  “What fun would there be in life if I did?”

“You’re hopeless,” Sabin groaned.

“And you’re clueless,” Edgar countered.

Sabin pretended to be angry.  “Shameless womanizer!”

Edgar imitated his brother’s expression.  “Brainless bodybuilder!”

The two glared at one another for a while before cracking up.

“Lobster,” Edgar got out between chuckles.

“Crab,” Sabin snickered.

Edgar managed to compose himself.  “Now that we’ve gotten that out of our systems, there are a few things I’d like to discuss with you, brother.”

Sabin groaned again.  “Is it the old ‘settle down and have a family’ speech?”

Edgar grinned.  “No, it’s the ‘stop sponging off of me and get a job’ speech.”

Sabin jabbed Edgar in the arm.  “How could you be so cruel to your own brother!”

Edgar backed away a few steps.  “I was kidding! Kidding!”

Sabin crossed his arms.  “Hmph.”

“Seriously, brother; you’ve been hanging around here more than usual.  Is there something wrong?”

Sabin looked at his twin brother and saw the genuine concern in Edgar’s face.  “I think—” He paused, trying to find the right words.  He sighed.  “It’s because I don’t feel needed anymore.”

To say that Edgar was beyond shocked would be an understatement.  “Sabin!”

“Now that Doma Castle is more or less up and running, there really isn’t any use for a muscle-head like me.”

I’ve never seen Sabin so down since Father died. Edgar thought.  But he does have a point.

“Sometimes, I almost wish that things were like before, when I could actually do something.”

Edgar’s eyes lit up as he thought of something.  “Say, brother, have you ever considered opening a training hall?”

“I’m pathetic, aren’t I?” Sabin was jerked out of his self-pity.  “A what?”

“A training hall,” repeated Edgar.  “I’m sure there are still idealistic young kids out there who think that the martial arts are the greatest things since sliced bread.”

Sabin narrowed his eyes.  “Are you toying with me again?”

“Not at all! You could really make a living out of teaching people your Blitzes! Besides, don’t you want to pass down what Duncan taught you?”

Sabin suddenly developed an interest in studying the intricate designs on the floor.

“Think about it, okay?” Edgar gave his brother a reassuring pat on the shoulder.  “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be off performing my kingly duties.”

– Edgar –

Through his years of experience, Edgar came to the conclusion that women generally fell into two types: Impressed and Not Impressed.  While it was flattering when a woman was Impressed, Edgar discovered that those who took in his flirting hook, line, and sinker wasn’t the most intelligent, discerning, or mature type.  It was those who were Not Impressed that presented the true challenge, the strong-willed, self-made woman who could think for herself.

The woman which was, for the moment, the target of Edgar’s attention was without a doubt of the first type.  She giggled when Edgar approached her, blushed when he complimented her, and looked at him with a longing gaze when he broke off the conversation and left.

Why does Locke get all the luck? Edgar wondered.  Celes had been the epitome of Not Interested, but somehow Locke broke through the wall that she had erected around herself and won her heart.  Quite unfair, considering how much more effort Edgar had put into trying to gain Celes’ affection.  Edgar more or less knew quite a few moments after they’d med that he would never win, that Celes never thought of him as anything more than a friend at best, but he still refused to give up.  In the end, though, his constant bantering with Celes ended up as nothing more than a running joke at his expense.

Ah, well.  There are plenty of other fish.

As Edgar was thinking this, he was approached by a soldier.  “A representative of the New Republic to see you in the throne room, Your Majesty.”

The New Republic was a provisional government created after the death of the Emperor; it was only after Kefka was also killed that the New Republic began to gain true acknowledgment.  It consisted of a very loose alliance between Jidoor, Kohlingen, Albrook, Tzen, Maranda, Thamasa, Nikeah, pluis recent additions Zozo, Narshe and Moblitz.  Each city was still self-governed on the most part, but they elected officials to sit in the council that met at Tzen and agreed to mobilize their respective militarizes should the need ever arise.  Edgar and Cyan had kept Figaro and Doma out of the Republic, citing their business in rebuilding their respective domains as an excuse.  Now, though, there was no avoiding the New Republic, as weak as it might be; now that the New Republic was discussing to rebuild Vector to serve as its capital, involvement was almost imperative.

“Inform the representative that I’ll be right there,” Edgar replied.  The soldier bowed and left in haste.

– Edgar –

Tina Manning waited somewhat nervously for King Edgar to enter the throne room.  She had heard quite a bit about the young king of Figaro; none of them painted a good picture of him.

I hope he doesn’t play politics the way he does romance, Tina thought, suppressing a shudder, remembering the rumors of Edgar’s heavy-handed womanizing.

At that moment, the soldiers guarding the door stood to attention.

“Presenting His Royal Highness, King Edgar Roni Figaro!” A voice announced.

With that, a man garbed in fancy robes strolled into the throne room.

“Pleased to meet you, King Edgar,” Tina said, bowing.  “You certainly know how to make an entrance.  Tina Manning, representative of the New Republic, at your service.”

Edgar stared at Tina for a moment.  “You’re a woman?” He blurted out.

Why, of all the egotistical, idiotic— Tina glared at him.  “That’s right.  You’ve got a problem with that?”

Edgar raised his hands defensively.  “N-not at all! I didn’t mean to offend you.  I was just a bit surprised—”

Yeah, right. Tina thought, saying out loud, “No offense taken, Your Majesty.  Let’s get down to business, shall we?”

“Lets.” With a gesture, a table and two were brought out.  It was with great relief to Tina that Edgar sat across from her—in other words, as far away from her as possible.

“Now,” Edgar began, resting his chin on his clasped hands, “I assume your visit is to further relations between my Kingdom and your Republic?”

Tina sighed; this wasn’t going well at all.  “It isn’t just my Republic, Your Majesty—”

Edgar flashed a disarming smile.  “—Edgar.  Just plain Edgar would be fine.”

Tina suppressed a scowl.  This guy just doesn’t give up, does he? She cleared her throat.  “Well, then, Edgar, the Republic was founded to counter against future disasters.  Of all the people in the world, I’m sure you are one of those who understand the most that we don’t need another Kefka.  To achieve that, the Republic needs your support.”

Edgar twiddled his thumbs.  “In other words, you want me to give my machinery and my army to you guys so that we can jump in and rescue you if you’re ever in trouble?”

Hearing the patronizing tone in Edgar’s voice, Tina decided that she just about had enough.  “If you don’t want to make an alliance with the Republic, then just say so.” She stood and collected her things.  “Good day.”

“Wait!” Edgar rose as well, blocking Tina’s path.

“Why should I?” Tina asked, not bothering to hide the anger and disdain she felt.  “Obviously talking to you is just a waste of my time.”

Tina made a second attempt to leave, but Edgar stood his ground.  “I’m sorry if that’s what you think, but I simply don’t want to commit my people to more war.”

Finally, he’s starting to be more sincere, Tina thought, softening a bit.  “I understand.  However, may I remind you that as the representative of a governing body, I am on equal grounds with you.” So start treating me that way.

Edgar didn’t say anything for a few moments.  “All right.  I apologize for not taking you seriously.  Now, will you kindly sit back down so we can get something accomplished?”

Tina studied Edgar; this time, he was all business, every bit the king he was supposed to be.  “Thank you, Edgar.  I will.”

“Good.” The two sat down again.  “I know you want to cement good relations with Figaro as soon as possible, but I’d rather not hurry.  Let’s take things one step at a time.”

Tina tapped her chin.  “That sounds like a reasonable request.  Where would you like to start?”

Edgar also looked pensive.  “How about a formal introduction ceremony? Then we could begin correspondence.”

Tina nodded.  “The Embassies would be next, and exchange programs between your citizens and ours.”

“Correct,” Edgar agreed.  “Finally, Figaro will join the Republic in a mutually acceptable alliance.”

Tina struck a fist into her palm.  “That’s an excellent plan, Edgar! When would you like to begin?”

Edgar’s eyes twinkled.  “As soon as possible, of course.”

Tina stood, this time not out of anger.  “I’ll go back and present your ideas to the Republic when it reconvenes and bring back the response.”

Edgar rose out of his chair as well, and bowed.  “I’ll be looking forward to it.”

Damn, he really is a hunk when he’s not such a jerk. Tina thought, giving him a quick once-over before returning the bow.  “I’m glad we were able to get over our initial misunderstandings, Edgar.”

“Me, too,” Edgar gave Tina a lopsided grin.  “It was a pleasure meeting you, Miss Manning.”

“Tina,” the ambassador corrected, also grinning from ear to ear.

Edgar looked like he had died and gone to heaven.  “If you wish.”

Tina nearly laughed out loud.  She shook a finger at him.  “But remember, we are strictly diplomatic acquaintances.”

Edgar pretended not to be disappointed.  “Of course, Tina.  Good bye.”

– Edgar –

After Tina left, Edgar sighed.

Not Impressed! One Hundred Percent Not Impressed! He sighed again.

Life was good.


Unnecessarily Long and Tiresome Authoress’ Notes:
“Tina” is a shout-out to the original Japanese series, where that was Terra’s original name.

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