[Chatty with Roach Co-Authors and ... err ... him ...]
Dammit, now I feel obligated to do something ... ah well, let's dig up semi-ancient history ...
(*And now, back to the secret hideout of the roaches
and the Xelloss - Zoisite fight, already in progress ... ^_-*)
Zoisite: Getting me dubbed as a woman in the North
American dub was *not* funny!!
Xelloss: Oh, but Zoi-kun, you're looking at it the
wrong way! Think of the role model you've been to all the up and rising evil little
girls of the US and Canada! A paragon of modern Evil Feminism! ^_-
Zoisite: (*steaming out the ears*)
Xelloss: (*little SD spin, resulting in him in a dress -- Yes Shinobi, _THAT_ dress -- holding up "Little Girls Association of North American Evil" sign*) When I grow up, I wanna be just like Zoisite! (*big cute magical-girl-style jelly eyes*)
Zoisite: You are sooo immature.
Xelloss: Hey, at least I'm in character! That's more than can be said for you ...
Xelloss: ... well, unless working for cockroaches is part of your characterization ...
(*Zoisite and the Cockroach Leader exchange a glance ... and then burst out into very uproarious laughter ...*)
Zoisite: Me ... work for him?! Hehehe ... oh, I'm so sorry, but you are very sadly mistaken on that account ... he's not my employer, he's my agent!
Roach Leader: (*"Joisey" accent*) "Zoi-kun, dahlin', I got the poifik opening for a man suches yeself ... yep, 'Negaverse' or some such place like that ... naw, you'll do _fine_! Jus don't wear a tux to the inteview. Trust me on that one ..."
Xelloss: Ah ... that clears things up a bit ... by the way, did you notice that your entire roach invasion's been undermined by a small yousei?
Roach Leader: Huh? (*turns around and does a double take ... for the entire roach army, rather than flooding the streets as it's been supposed to, is doing something entirely different ...*)
Primera: (*through a megaphone*) Swing yer pardner, dou si dou! Where she lands, nobody knows!
(*Splat splat splat splat splat splat splat splat!*)
Roach Leader: Hey!! CUT THAT OUT!!
Zoisite: Wait, hold it ... she was in my pocket! How did she get out of my pocket?
Xelloss: Burned a hole in it with hydrochloric, apparently. (*points at a rather obvious ... well, burn-out hole in Zoi-kun's uniform*)
Roach Leader: You impudent little ... supernatural ... thingy!
Primera: Bite me!
Roach Leader: What acre?
Xelloss: (*snickering, chuckling, etc.*)
Roach Leader: Okay, that's it, no more mister nice roach! (*snatches the megaphone, thrashing Primera about a little in the process*)
Primera: Ooh! You thief! >_< I'm getting Void-san!! VOID-SAAAAAAAAN!!! (*blasts off flying faster than you could say "Well lookit that, she's not too entirely out of character ..."*)
Roach Leader: Sheesh ... and now to restore morale ...
Nikon, Nissan, Nakamichi, Honda, Kawasaki,
Even though the sound of it might put you into shock-y,
If you ask for roud enough they always have in stock-y:
Nikon, Nissan, Nakamichi, Honda, Kawasaki!
(*A grand cheer rises from the Roach Crowd! They love this stuff! They're crazily stupid!*)
(*Speaking of crazy, how is it that Primera's been acting ... rather ... odd ... in the EGC? ¬¬*)
Xelloss: (*whisting and twiddling his thumbs innocently*)
(*Oh, I seeeee ... lemme put up the fourth wall again, I think it fell when I wasn't looking ...*)
There, finally, a footnote where the fourth wall is made of styrofoam. So, what's up with the roach invasion? Why is the Roach Leader Zoisite's Agent? And what the hell is with Primera, anyway?! Tune in next time, when --
Xelloss: (*singing AND dancing*)
I'lllllll ... taaaaake ... aaaaa ... leg from some old table!
I'll take an arm from some old chair!
I'll get a back from some old sofa!
From a horse I'll get some hair! (Get some hair!)
Then I'll stick it all together
With the aid of string and glue,
And I'll get more lovin'
From that gosh-darn dummy
Than I ever got from you!
Xelloss: The roach started it.
Uh huh. Sure. And now this can be truly deemed a pointless plot advancement of the most unskilled kind ... believe me folks, it's not much exaggeration to say that I hewned this post rough from the stump without sandpaper ... ^^;;
Ugh...roaches...I hate roaches...
(Our esteemed Authoress-Sama isn't the only one who has a severe disliking to roaches...)
Sailorminerva (squishing roaches left and right): Take THAT! And THAT! O~HOHOHOHO~~~!
(This laugh causes a good number of roaches to die of convulsions.)
Celeste: Sometimes, that girl really scares me... (bats a roach out of the way) Bleargh. Doesn't the roach have any natrual enemies?
Sailorminerva: Yeah...me! (crosses her hands in front of her and pushes her arms forward) MINERVA FLASH!
(A bright light blinds all of the roaches within a five foot radius. Gleeful stomping continues.)
Elaine (standing on a chair): IEEEEEEEEEE!
Falora (using the Slipper of Heaven to defend herself): Back! Back, you animals! (to Elaine) Hey, I could use some help here.
Elaine: B-but...I'm scared! ;_;
Falora: Come on! Just think of this as...um...training or something...
Elaine (reluctantly): Oh, all right...(closes her eyes and clasps her hands together) Source of all power, crimson fire burning bright! <--I know, I know, that's from Slayers, but I like that spell. :)
(A single, tiny flame leaps from Elaine's fingertips.)
Elaine: Er... ^^;
Falora: Oy... -_-;
Alex (with a big barrel of something): Out of the way, you two!
(Alex opens the barrel and pours the contents on the roaches)
Roaches: AUGH! NOT BORAX! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
(I don't need to elaborate more on what happens, ne? :)
Alex (triumphantly): Ha ha! That's what you get for invading my territory!
(Elaine jumps down from the chair and hugs Alex)
Elaine: Arigatou gozaimasu, onii-sama!
Alex: Um...er...think nothing of it. (thinking) What's with the Japanese?
Ah! I feel MUCH better now! ^_^
[Shinobi BhauB - - Roach Slayer exraordinare (and horrible speller)]
The Third Roach War...
Yes, i'm declairing
war, on Roaches...
I still can't connect to battle.net worth anything...
Lyric: Ummm... how about adressing
the roach situation?
Why are you in RL anyway?
Lyric: You are insane, 'nuff said!
SCENE: Outside the bar.
Roach: Ah wheel keel hyou nahw!
Clone: Hmmm... roach, and with a French
accent? (*Raises eyebrow*) Ah well, are you threatening
Roach: Hyees! Ahnd hyou
hwhill feer mee!
Clone: That's a bad bad accent, i think
i take action. (*Smoosh*) Fun, does this happen
Voodoo: Just a little bit. What
say you we go regroup?
Clone: Sounds good to me.
(*Meanwhilst, back in the bar...*)
(*Yawn*) I'm still really bored.
Lyric: Wow, that was one hell of a
duet! If i had hands, i'd clap! (*Electronic reproduction
Plant: ... (*Thinks* Damn,
i don't even have _ears_ and that was impressive)
Rufus: Woooooow... (*Drools*) She's
Clone: Guys! Guys! There
what this roach, and he tried to kill me, and i hit him and smashed it
and there are gonna be more because Voodoo says so!
Voodoo: Decaf, Clone-boy, decaf...
Roaches, again!? Dammit! Ah well, i never
got vengance for Chatty!
Clone: Ummm... the Hojo lookalike?
No, the mecha pilot, she died.
Voodoo: Wasn't she reborn?
Ummm... i think so...
Clone: So what's the vengance for?
Donno... lets just pile in the tank and do some roach squashing!
(*Cliffhanger ending thinger*)
Ah well, i continue it after some other people
post, or after i am done faking research for this paper... I think all
the internet sources are kinda obvious, ya think?
Sephiroth: Can i open a can too?
I don't see why not... i bet they'd welcome