[ SCENE: A ghostly form flows slightly above the street, seeming to move with a since of purpose, while muttering obscenities to itself ]
Motherfudger... How in the name of everything am i going to explain _this_!? I mean i managed to loose my _body_! And i really liked that one! (*Sigh*) Oh well... I gotta get back to the Bar, or to the Goon Squad... but like this? I mean can they even see me? Oh dear lord, i dropped the Scythe! She's gonna have my arse for that one... Oh well, the apocalypse isn't gonna happen for a while, so i'm not gonna have to explain myself _soon_... (*Mutters*) Thank god for small favors...
(*Drifts for a while*)
And where _did_ those rats take me? (*Glances around*) Hey, i bet i can float!
I can see my house from here! Well, not quite _that_ far, but i can see just about everybody... and now just to drift toward the Bar... (*Concentraits, but a stray gust of wind has something to say about that*) Damnation! Argh, what would another wraith do at a time like this...? Hey, Chats took control of sombody, i bet i could do that! Just relax... and flow towards where i could most gain entry... (*The ghostly form slowly fades*)
(*Several moments later, a voice comes out of the shadows*)
Hey, it works! I have a body now! (*Wanders out of the darkness*) I wonder what i got... (*Glances in nearby reflective surface*) Hmmm.... not all that attractive... oh wait, not _human_. Stupid robot body... atleast its humanoid style... i'd hate to have to figure out what the difference between walking and rolling or somesuch like that... You know, i just can't seem to get an even break, can i? Oh well, it wouldn't be any fun if i could count on luck to get me out of situations...
(*Wanders off muttering "Got just enough to get myself _into_ things... never enough to just tumble out and to safety..."*)
[ SCENE: The momentary calm at the front lines ]
Voodoo: So what exactly are you saying?
Lyric: Donno... just something odd happened...
Clone: To Shinobi?
Lyric: About now I'd shrug, if i had shoulders... Its a whole lot of a puzzle... i mean its kinda like he's not on the scanners anymore, almost... but he _is_ still there...
Voodoo: Oh great... you got thuped sometime in the battle!
Lyric: Nuh uh! Not even! I'm still A-OK!
Voodoo: Don't get frantic, its not good for the credibility...
Clone: How the hell do i find tech support for a computer that won't even ever be manufactured in this universe?
(*Please god don't call me*)
Lyric: Hey buddy, i'm a unique OS, and i handle my _own_ support
(*Thank _god_... now i only pray to live to see the day*)
Voodoo: You guys hear something?
Clone: What the hell are we talking about?
Voodoo: Donno... don't you think we should be trying to re-establish communications with the rest of the cameos? Mayhaps we could find out what happened to the RLs..
[ SCENE: Back at the wraith-controlled robot ]
i need automatic subroutines on this thing... i have to think of "lift left leg, lift right leg" all the time... this is a _pain_... Note to self: Take a human form next time i try possession... atleast i'm making progress, as it were...
[ SCENE: Atop yet another convenient skyscraper ]
Lava: So what are we going to do tonight Raba?
Raba: Same thing we do every night Lava, try to bring our plan to fruition!
Lava: And that plan would be?
Raba: The destruction of the RL, and the ascendance of the roaches, duh!
Lava: Gotcha. And now we begin Phase 2, right? All that re-writing jazz...
Raba: Yesssss... (*Rubs paws together maniacally...*)
Sorry about that... i couldn't resist...
There's a _huge_ ass thunderstorm around here... NSC just got hit (almost directly) so the phones are big time down... this means i get payed for sitting around and doing nothing. Good work if you can get it, but boring as anything... so i post, and so forth... just filler so as i'm no longer bored... (*Laugh*) Does how tired i am show? (*Smirk*) Good _lord_ but this story arc has made for some incredibly impressive posts, i must say! (*Grin*) Anyhow, i go home in as its clear at the moment... See y'all on my ICQ when i see y'all...
Mean People Are Mean Period
(*Meanwhile, Shinra HQ First Floor, two Soldiers on guard at the door*)
Girl SOLDIER: I like parsley.
Old Fart SOLDIER: Yes, I do recall you having said that before ...
Girl SOLDIER: Oh, yes, but it's good! Especially with salt water ...
Old Fart SOLDIER: Aha! You've been going to Seders!
Girl SOLDIER: Err ... yah, 's nothing wrong with that ...
Old Fart SOLDIER: Heh. Y'know, you'll be having your confirmation soon, and then you can be one of the adults at the Passover dinner for the ... whossits, fourth, fifth graders...?
Girl SOLDIER: Feh. Children. (*blink blink*) Huh, listen to me getting all pretentious and such ... calling fifth graders 'children'!
Old Fart SOLDIER: Hey, I call 23-year-olds children!
Girl SOLDIER: Wouldn't they be 'youths'? Or, uh, youts? Heh ...
Old Fart SOLDIER: I'm sorry, but did you just say 'youts'?
Girl SOLDIER: Excuse me, Your Honor ... YOUTHS.
(*A short moment of seriousness before the both of them crack up with laughter.*)
Girl SOLDIER: Hoo hoo nelly..!
Old Fart SOLDIER: Hehehe ... spontaneous quotes! What's life about!
Voice: Well, you'll have to decide that soon, won't you?
Old Fart SOLDIER: Huh, wha-- nnh!!
(*And with that, a curved blade sssshhhks in through his back and out his chest in an altogether not pleasant way.*)
Girl SOLDIER: Wha-- YOU!! You .. you killed Mr. Thomas!! You bastard!! (*draws sword*) Prepare to --
Girl SOLDIER: Nnh..!
Ravenal: Aw, how sad ... well, before you die, just two things. One, I'm a woman, therefore I'm a bitch and not a bastard ... and Two, isn't it a shame you didn't ever get to use that big friggin' butter knife?
(*With this she grins fiendishly and decapitates the SOLDIER. Then she turns and marches up to the quaking Receptionist at the desk. With fresh blood dripping from one of the blades on a complicated weapon that could only be described as some sort of scythe, the dark-skinned dark knight stands there a moment.*)
(*Think Cecil with different chromosomes and race, and a definitive bloodlust. And, uh, an educated British accent. But wouldn't he have that anyway..?*)
Receptionist: Eh heh ... ah ... you're here to see the Shinra Executives, and you don't need an appointment..? ^^;;
Ravenal: Good, you're catching on fast.
Receptionist: I'll ... send you right on up ...
Ravenal: No need, I can find the way myself. Top floor, right?
Receptionist: Um, no, they've been in a meeting for the past month or so, so it's floor 69 or something, I ... think ...
Ravenal: Ah, damn, fewer floors to slay on the way ... tell me, ma'am, are you the knowledgable sort of menial worker?
Receptionist: Err ... maybe?
Ravenal: Well then ... if a fetal pig has a meter and 95 centimeters worth of small intestine, how much does the average human have?
Receptionist: I ... really don't know that one ...
Ravenal: Really, eh? (*extremely evil grin*) Then we'll just have to find out, won't we?
Receptionist: Oh expletive slash petition to random deity ...
(*Floor 60-something, where the Shinra Execs are still in a meeting over the missing President Rufus. One corner seems to be devoted to the piling on of empty Chinese take-out boxes, and somehow they've gotten ahold of some sleeping bags ...*)
Reeve: Um ... here ye, here ye, the eight-hour nap is over?
Scarlet: (*yawn*) Oh Lord do I hate this meeting ... it's the longest one ever!
Heideggar: Well, we never did come to a conclusion on what to do about the President's dissappearance ...
Scarlet: Do we ever?
Palmer: I second that. Is there any more CheezWiz?
Reeve: Ah well ... whilst you guys were sleeping, I did manage to solve the mystery of the missing Vice President ...
Heideggar: Vice President? We have a Vice President?
Reeve: Surprisingly enough, yes. I'd thought the job just dissappeared when Rufus ... erm, "was promoted by default", but in fact it seems that he had, in fact, appointed a Vice President to take his place and act as temporary President in any unduely long absences.
Suibne: And no, it's not me.
Scarlet: Please tell me it's not Step-- hey, wait a minute ...
Scarlet: Stupid Prophet. (*pouts*)
Reeve: Anyway, the answer quite surprised me ... it's not what I would expect at all ... which isn't to say that the decision doesn't make sense, but --
Heideggar: Tell us who it is, dammit!
Palmer: Yeah!! Tell us where the CheezWiz is, spammit!
Reeve: Alright, fine, be that way. (*moves to the door*) Ladies and Gentlemen of the Shinra Executive Board, I present to you your not-exactly-new Vice President ... (*opens door to reveal ...*)
Scarlet: Tseng's the Vice PRESIDENT?!
Tseng: I was rather surprised myself ...
Reno: (*leaping in*) Hey, what does it matter? I get to lead the Turks! I get to lead the Turks! Oh yeah ... woo hoo hoo! (*dances around*)
Elena: Reno, do you have to do a victory dance?
Rude: Yes he does. He's a major cameo again.
Elena: Yeah, but ... I should've been Turk Leader ... ah well. At least Tseng gets to be Vice President ... eh, Battle Angel Tsengy?
Tseng: (*blushing*) Elena, not here ...
Suibne: (*looking sommat disturbed*) Um, I hate to break the general feeling of relief here, but there's a homicidal maniac on the loose in the building, and we need to use the Black Materia as a bargain chip to make her stop ...
Scarlet: Again?! What is with these people and imitating a possessed Sephiroth, anyhow?!
Suibne: This one's not imitating, she's just gleefully torturing as many people as she can on her way here ...
Palmer: Would this be the Fallen Angel's second incarnation we are talking about?
Suibne: Yes indeed, and aren't you being the smart fatman today?
Palmer: Um ... I'm not fat, I'm thick-boned. Seen the CheezWiz anywhere, Stevie?
Suibne: It's under Scarlet's chair.
Palmer: Thankee! Tra la la ... CheeeeeezWiiiiiiizzzzzz ...
Scarlet: I'm not sitting in that thing again until it's scrubbed with bleach ...
Suibne: Anyway ... Execs, close and barricade those doors. Turks, ex or otherwise, go fetch the Black Materia and see if you can lure her out of the building with it ...
Reno: Um ... lure a fallen angel out of the building? I am thinking AT Field here, yes?
Suibne: More the challenge to y'all. Go get 'em, tiger.
Elena: Is that sarcasm?
Suibne: You know, I really can't tell anymore. Um ... just go. The Force is with you, yadda yadda.
Reno: Okay ... but if we die, you know you'll hear from us again, right?
Suibne: That being the problem with being an Ancient, yes.
Reno: Fine. Rude, let us go forth and merrily kick ass. Verily?
Rude: ....... Reno, just say 'let's go'.
Reno: Argh ... okay, plain vanilla let's go. Onward Shinra Soldiers, and the like. (*the Turks exit*)
Suibne: Barricade, anyone?
Scarlet: I donate my chair. (*gingerly shoves the thing*)
Reeve: Chinese food boxes don't work, huh? How's about the conference table? It's a heavy ...
Heideggar: Yea, finally time you bums did some real work!
Palmer: Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black?
Heideggar: Shush, fatso.
(*And so, the Shinra Execs turn the conference table on it's side and begin to push ... Suibne/Stephen being left to mull over the situation ...*)
Suibne: Sister, you there?
Ilfana: Yes, Suibne.
Suibne: I don't particularly like this situation ... why do we have to give her the Black Materia? She's exactly the kind of person that shouldn't get anywhere near it!
Ilfana: Do you think I don't know that, brother mine? My God, if I had blood it'd have boiled when I saw what her partner nearly did to my daughter ... they're brutal, dark people, undeserving of life ... and yet ... letting them carry out their plan is another dimension's only chance for salvation ...
Suibne: What do you mean by that?
Ilfana: I mean that ... these actions of evil here are the mirror actions of Holy elsewhere. And to interfere with them would destroy that place's only opportunity for hope.
Suibne: So we should just stand by and let innocence die?
Ilfana: No. We strike ... when the mirror breaks. Then each action will be one. Trust me in this.
Suibne: If you say so, Ilfana.
Ilfana: Don't say that aloud, someone might hear you!
Hahaha!! More posts! But, uh ... mine violent content is getting a bit specific, methinks ... need to tone down, vague out, and such like ... or not ... depenths ...