Roach: *killing roaches Ún masse with a Uzi* Bwahahahahahaha!!!! Kill kill kill!!! Bwahahahahahaha!!!!
He really seems to enjoy this... Kowaii... ^^;;
Johnny: *sulking* He takes away all the roaches! No fair!
Oh shut the *beep* up and go squish some roaches.
Johnny: Bleah! >■
(*Meanwhile, in the bar, some non-fighter people are trying to pass the time ...*)
Plimsky: Pip pip pip!
Rufus: Damn, is that thing cheating or something?
Jenova: Nope, he always wins. Get used to it.
Roísin: Ne ... if it weren't for all the explosions outside, this would actually be rather ... nice.
Jenova: I know, wouldn't it? ^_^
Rufus: To each his own, I guess.
Jenova: Ah, losing cardgames to the silly German robot ... brings back memories ... (*sigh*)
Plimsky: Pip pip pip!
Damn ... that robot's good at cards.
Jack: Yeah. Are
you cheating or something?
Plimsky: Nein. Plimsky
his cards from the robot*) What the hell's that mean?
Kii: (*from the counter*)
"Plimsky doesn't cheat."
Edge: Oh. I guess
it's his poker face, then. ^^;
in*) Hey, guys! Come look what Yuffie's doing!!
Edge: What, hacking
No, even better! C'mon! (*yanks Edge and a few bar regulars out*)
getting excited over something that Yuffie's doing?
Jack: Must be *some*
attack, that one ... hey, what're we going to do about Edge?
Play until he gets back.
Jack: With three
Vorzieht ihr zwei Spieleren?
What was that?
Jack: I dunno, but it
sounds sarcastic ...
Rufus: (*snap snap*) Hello to Dorothy? Come back to Kansas, we're playing a cardgame here ...
Jenova: Ah ... whoops, sorry. I just got a little ... um ...
Roísin: ... heartsick.
Jenova: Yeah. (*blink blink*) How could ye tell?
(*Roísin just shrugs.*)
(*Elsewhere ... a certain sorceress babysitter walks a small toddler into a certain area ...*)
Lina: Saaaaaay ... Tai-chan, is it just me, or is that a roach army about to blow up the Shinra HQ?
Tai: Guuu ... ^_^
Lina: Yeah, thought so. FIREBALL!!
Tai: Whee! Gagua make BOOM!
Lina: Heheh ... yeah, with plenty of boom to follow! Roaches, here I come!
(*And elsewhere yet again..! How thrilling..!!*)
Roach Leader: Veeeeerdammt! Gerbil, you had better've finished that "brilliant plan" of yours or you're bazooka meat.
Dr. Gerbil: Ah, good! I was ... um ... just about to send for yehs. They're finished.
Roach Leader: What's finished?
Dr. Gerbil: The Anti-RL Mutant Rodent Force! Here, lemme show you. (*flips a switch*)
(*Parts of the walls fly up, revealing a lineup of NIMH-like rats ... and, err, others ...*)
Roach Leader: (*in awe*) An Anti-RL Mutant Rodent Force..? How..? What..?
Dr. Gerbil: As I figure it, the whole problem with this offensive is tactics. We've been attacking the pawns! Of course you lose with a plan like that ... with the cameos and self-inserts being moved around by those god-like beings known as 'RL's, there's no way any force opposing them could win!
Roach Leader: Then what's impressive rats to do with it?
Dr. Gerbil: Aha! I knew you'd ask that! The catch about these beauties is ... they are anti-inserts. Like an insert, they have mild control over the Fourth Wall, as well as the uncanny ability to know and speak the mind of the RL. And because of this, they have the ability to cut off the power of the RLs over EG City.
Roach Leader: And that means ... free reign of the roaches! Wooooo HOO! Alright! Dr. Gerbil, you've actually had a good idea for once!
Dr. Gerbil: (*modestly*) I do my best.
Roach Leader: So, have them cut off the RLs.
Dr. Gerbil: Ah, but that's the only problem. They have to assassinate the self-inserts first.
Roach Leader: Damn.
Dr. Gerbil: Fortunately, they're all very skilled and highly deadly. Sh'll run through the line up?
Roach Leader: Go riiight ahead. Deadly things make my day.
Dr. Gerbil: Good. First off, the rat opposing Jen Yukishiro, a.k.a. Mirako Ichihan, a.k.a. Jen-chan -- Yen.
Yen: I'll sue her for property damage, emotional distress, and attempted extermination! And then I'll mallet her into oblivion! Ha, ha! (*swings mallet around michievously*)
Dr. Gerbil: Next, the rat opposing Voidstar Hugh Davis -- Guu.
Guu: Guu..? (*batts her eyes cutely*)
Roach Leader: If that's a Magical Girl Rat, please shoot me now.
Dr. Gerbil: Shh. Just watch.
Guu: Guu? Hee!!
(*Guu lunges up into the air, morphs into a large, multiple-armed cross between a dragon and a rat, growls with large tyrannosaur-like teeth, and lands again, morphing back into a kute little mutant rat runt.*)
Roach Leader: Ah! I like, I like!
Dr. Gerbil: To oppose Jay Arisugawa, we have here the samurai rat called MAY.
May: Howdy y'all! Anythin' need slicin' or dicin'? (*swings double katanas*)
Dr. Gerbil: Not yet, May. Thanks for asking.
May: No prob, Dr. Gerb! (*grin*)
Dr. Gerbil: Err, right. Moving on, we have the rat to oppose Jelynne ...... Rebopp.
Rebopp: Haha ... you want a plothole, you've come to the right rat! Plotholes, spaceholes, blackholes, wormholes, potholes -- you name it, I can put a hole in it! Beat that, why doncha ... (*yanks a couple of donuts from subspace and starts munching*)
Dr. Gerbil: All he needs is an ego hole. And last, but not least, the rats to oppose Shinobi Bhaub, the most deadly RL of them all ...... ninja twins Lava and Raba!
Lava: Hi, my name's Lava, and I'm ... (*sniff*) ... a firespell addict.
Raba: (*coldly*) Lava-kun, that joke's getting very old very fast.
Lava: Aw, but I'm just having a little fun! Firespells, firesword -- I've got it made! (*grin*)
Raba: And I suppose if the RL's heat-resistant, that puts me in the front.
Lava: You being the Ice Queen -- a-yup. No better fighter than a sister that's absolutely frig-- AH!
(*And for that remark, Lava has promptly recieved an icicle growth at the end of his snout ...*)
Dr. Gerbil: And if they ever need to be especially deadly, they can do their Palom - Porom impression.
Roach Leader: Impressive. But you forgot the RLs Chatty and Sikaryan ...
Dr. Gerbil: Uh ... whops. (*thinks*) Well, for the RL-Chatty, I suppose we could use that, err ... "Alex Krycek" in the other cell ...
Krycek: Har har. Very funny. Now lemme out and tell me where the bathroom is! I have to go!
Dr. Gerbil: Later.
Roach Leader: Hm .. that might work, coupled with the fake "ROACH-B-GONE" spray ... but what about Sikar--
Some roach: (*running in*) Sir!! Sir!! It's horrible, it's awful!!
Roach Leader: What? What's horrible & awful?
Some roach: It's about Roach!
Roach Leader: Which roach?
Some roach: No, Roach! Roach ... he's DEFECTED!
Dr. Gerbil: Hey! No dirty language in my lab!
Roach Leader: (*twitch*)
Dr. Gerbil: Err ...
Roach Leader: HE DID WHAT?!
Some roach: (*meekly*) He switched sides to fight with Subito Sikaryan. I'm very sorry, si--
Roach Leader: GERBIL! Ready Gregor for battle!
Dr. Gerbil: What? Sir, that's --
Roach Leader: Damn it, rodent, you heard me! READY MY GODDAMN GEAR!
Dr. Gerbil: ...... yessir.
Roach Leader: (*growling lowly*) I'll deal with Sikaryan myself.
Dr. Gerbil: (*mumbling*) Damn, there goes a prefectly good Supervillain ... where's filial piety when you need it ... gotta go over the wannabes resumés now, huh ...