The inevitable.
I swore I was going to stay offline today, but then I got an idea. Figures.


[setting: the streets of EGC]

*Chatty is walking down along the streets, when suddenly, she is accosted by what would appear to be a travelling performer with three dancing monkeys. Specifically, a travelling violinist with blonde hair and a black mustache and a way oversized violin, with a dancing monkey wearing a round pink hat with a bow on it, a smaller monkey making a terrible grimace as it dances, and an even smaller dancing monkey with arms and legs that flap around like they don't actually do anything.*

Violinist: *playing beautifully* DANCE, monkeys, DANCE! XD

Large Monkey: *dancing* HA-ME-L! XP

*She stops, and turns to look at the troupe with mild interest.*

Hamel: *continuing to play* Why, hello, young lady! I am the great Baron Otto von Monkeyman, and these are my monkey minions! Do you happen to like monkeys, by any chance? >:D

Chatty: Why, yes, I adore them. *points at one* But this... is not a monkey.

Hamel: *stops playing* What are you talking about? That's a rare chimpanzee from Tanzania! :D;;

*Without saying a word, Chatty walks up to the one she was pointing at-- the one with the hat --and promptly yanks the head of the monkey off, revealing a very pretty girl with red hair in poofy ponytails. The girl looks surprised, to say the least.*

Hamel: HEY! You're not supposed to do that!

Chatty: Hm. Princess Flute of Sforzando, I presume?

*Now the girl really IS surprised.*

Flute: H-hai... how did you know? o_o

Chatty: Himitsu da. *turns to another monkey* And you would be Prince Trombone of Dal Segno, hm?

Trom: *ripping his monkey costume off* Ha! See, Hamel? All we had to do was tell her who we were... of course she's going to listen to royalty!

Chatty: Actually, royalty will get you nowhere in EGC.

*Everyone facefaults.*

Trom: WHAT?

Chatty: Royalty means nothing in EGC. It may matter where you come from, but here, a prince or a princess is the same as anyone else. *turns to leave* Have a good day.

Hamel: Wait, wait, there's more! Uh... uh... the Idiot Dance!

*He starts playing and Trom, Flute, and the remaining "monkey" start doing a dance that could only be described as really STUPID.*

Chatty: Boring.

Hamel: Damn it! Stay here and listen to us!

*The remaining "monkey" hops over in front of Chatty, "arms" and "legs" dragging along the ground.*

"Monkey": Please, Chatty-sama, hear us out. Hamel's methods may be misguided, but we really do have a crisis, which only you can avert.

*Chatty's response is to raise one eyebrow.*

Chatty: Chatty-sama, eh? *crosses her arms* You would be the former Hawk King Oboe, then.

Oboe: *bows* Yes, I am. You're very well informed. ^_^

Chatty: *tapping her chin* Well. There might be one thing you could do to gain an audience with me...

Oboe: *eagerly* And that is..?

Chatty: *points at Hamel* Give me that guy's violin.

Oboe: ...anything but that. o_o;;

Hamel: Over my cold and dead body! XP

Chatty: *ignoring him* Actually, you've wasted enough of my time right now that you've technically already tricked me into giving you an audience, no matter how trivial it was, so... *YOINK*

Hamel: HEY! *snatches at it, but Chatty blinks out of the way and to the other side of him*

Chatty: I've always wanted to play the violin, you know. *examines violin* Although this one has seen a lot of wear...

Hamel: *snarling, with FANGS* Give it BACK! *snatches again, with the same result*

Everyone else: o_o;;

Chatty: You know, maybe I'll sell it on the open market instead...

Hamel: *ROARS like a giant beast* GIVE IT BACK!

Chatty: Heh.

Voice: Chatty, that's enough!

*And with that, Refrain pops out of Chatty's pocket, flies up, and glares at her.*

Refrain: It's too much to demand a man's livelihood from him. Give it back.

Chatty: Oh, of course. *hands it over* That was just a ploy to get you to come out of hiding, anyway. n_n

Refrain: *dawning realization* Oh crap.

Oboe: o_o ...Refrain?!

Refrain: Uh. Hi, 'nii-chan? n_n;;

Hamel, Flute, and Trom: "NII-CHAN"? o_o

Oboe: You're an advisor the Demiurge of EGC? o_o

Refrain: *sheepishly* Actually, no. I'm her dad.

*A looooong pause.*

Oboe: ...you have a daughter?

Refrain: Yes. Yes, I do. Why, is that so hard to believe?

Oboe: Uh. Well, yes. It's a shock. o_o

Refrain: Seeing you in a monkey suit is a shock too. :P

Oboe: *sheepishly* Oh, uh, this. *sloughing off the monkey suit, revealing Oboe to be a crow* Hamel heard that Chatty really liked monkeys, so he decided the best way to get Chatty's attention would be to pose as a dancing monkey troupe.

Refrain: And you put up with this?

Oboe: Well... yes? ^_^;

Chatty: *tapping her shoes* Aw, now this is no proper reunion. You haven't seen each other in centuries! You should hug or something!

Oboe: Eh?

Refrain: Uh, that's not feasible while we're in bird form.

Chatty: Then change out of bird form! Go on.

*The two birds look at each other bewilderedly, then transform, yadda yadda. Refrain looks like himself-- an auburn-haired man with nose-pinching glasses, a moustache, red wings, and a light blue uniform reminiscent of a duellist's uniform from Utena. Oboe looks like this scans-- a white-haired man with a beard, wearing armour, and having black wings.*

Chatty: Now hug.

Refrain: Uh, Chatty...

Chatty: HUG, DAMN IT.

*Reluctantly, the two...er, hug, and pat each other on the back awkwardly.*

Chatty: Feh. Sensitive men my ASS.

Oboe: What? o_o

Refrain: Hoo boy... -_-;;;

Chatty: *cheerily* Now you two go bond, and I'll see what I can do about whatever problem it is that you're dealing with.

*Refrain and Oboe look at each other, bewildered.*

Oboe: I don't think I should leave Hamel--

Chatty: Oh, FSSH, he'll be fine. I'll stick with him.

Refrain: You and Hamel, together? That could be dangerous. ¬¬

Chatty: *shoving them off* Go on, have some coffee and play catch up. Everything will be fine.

*Not knowing what else to do, the two bird brothers wander off in the direction of the coffee shop.*

Chatty: So, what's the issue du jour? :D

Flute: Well, you see, our travelling partners, Raiel and Sizer, mysteriously disappeared, and--

Chatty: Oh, him. That was a joke that lasted a little too long. Easy fix!

*She snaps her fingers, and Raiel blinks into existence right next to the trio, complete with golden piano and dumbfounded look.*

Raiel: Where am I? Who am I? @_@

Chatty: Oops, erased his memory a little too well there. *taps his head*

Raiel: *blink* Ha-chan! ...why is Trom dressed like a monkey?

Trom: Grrrrr... ><

Hamel: What about Sizer?

Chatty: Ah, I'm afraid she's now a full-fledged member of the Archangels. Can't dispatch her without a damn good reason.

Flute: But Kestra is sending mazoku after us!

Chatty: Kestra, eh? That would be Hamel's father, yes?

Hamel: ........

Chatty: Let me guess, he wants to kill you and drink your blood. How stupid. No matter how badly I get along with my kids, I'd never do something so ridiculous.

Flute: Uh, Chatty-sama... we really need Sizer's help. Without her and her valkyries, fighting the mazoku is much, much harder. And if Kestra himself comes after us...

Chatty: Hm! Fine then, you'll have Sizer back.

*She snaps her fingers, and the whole batch of Archangels appear. Yes, all four of them!*

Michael: *blink* What's this?

Gabriel: We appear to have been summoned. Hai, Chatty-sama?

Chatty: You are hereby assigned to guard this group of travellers. And no, Michael, this is not trivial.

Michael: ........hai, Chatty-sama. ¬¬

Chatty: Sizer, you probably recognize this group, don't you?

Sizer: *disinterestedly* Hai, Chatty-sama.

Hamel: o_o

Sizer: Hamel, stop staring at my wings. Yes, I know they're pink.

Raphael: And aren't they CUTE? :D

Hamel: Awww, you have a little boyfriend! :D

*She responds by clocking Hamel over the head with the pole of her scythe.*

Sizer: Chatty-sama.... if this is the group... where's Ocarina?

Chatty: Ocarina? That's... a very good question. I'd really like to meet my cousin. :)

Sizer: *dumbfounded* COUSIN?

Chatty: *punching a fist into her other hand* That's it! I'll stick with you guys until you run into Ocarina again! This should be fun.

All: *sweatdrop*


If you don't know the characters, read a scanlation. And the bit about Sizer being an Archangel is from here in the archives.