The RED Spy had never been the type to commit to relationships, being more of a flavor-of-the-moment sort. And yet this particular woman had, without the usual clingy female nonsense, managed to remain interesting even after several encounters ranging anywhere from light flirting in the disguise of casual dialogue all the way to a hands-on demonstration of his cunning linguistics.

So when company business brought him the town where she lived, he decided to surprise her by showing up at her door with a bouquet of pale yellow roses—her favorite—and inviting her for a nice meal at his favorite restaurant. “Nozzing but zee best for ma petite chou-fleur,” he assured her, eliciting an amused eyebrow arch.

“And listen to that snooty Maitre d’ make disparaging remarks about my best dress? No thank you.” Having secured the roses in a washed out milk bottle on the counter, she slipped her hand into his and pulled him towards the door. “I found da loveliest little cafe, just down da street. You can wine and dine me all you’d like dere.”

“Eef you eenseest.” He let her take the lead until they were outside, then waited for her to lock the door before giving her an extravagant bow. “Shall we?”

She gave him a curtsy in return. “Lead da way, monsieur.”

They had walked about two streets, hand in hand, when he pressed her against a wall. “We’re being followed,” he whispered as he planted a kiss on her ear. “Look to your left and tell me what you see, s’il vous plaît.”

She complied, though she also gave him a sharp pinch in the side when his hands roamed to her waist. “There does seem to be a gentleman dressed likecha, ‘cept in dark blue and wearing some sorta fake beard. At least I hope dat’s a fake beard.” She kissed back with vigor, sneaking in a bite on his lip as well. “Friend ‘a yahs?”

“Somezing like zat.” The RED Spy pressed even closer. “Would you like me get rid of him, petit, or shall we give him a show?”

She smirked against his lips. “As long as you get me a copy ‘a da pictures.”

“Your wish eez my command.” He pretended not to notice their obvious tail as they continued towards their destination. They sat down at an outdoor table with her facing the street, sharing a chuckle as their shadow ducked into the bridal shop.

Then she began to laugh in earnest. “He isn’t—oh, he is—” she doubled over with mirth. “Ah, sweetie, you hafta see dis.”

He picked up the menu, but his gaze was directed back towards his rival, and he, too found it difficult to keep from laughing as he saw the other man try to pretend to be a mannequin, wedding dress and all. “You have to geeve him points for creativity, at least.”

“I s’pose so.” Having laughed herself to tears, she wiped her eyes with a handkerchief before going back to the menu. “Anything catch your eye, or wouldja like me ta ordah for ya?”

“You do zat. I need to make sure our friend stays where he eez.”

“Should we switch seats, then?”


He coughed into his glove to keep from laughing again now that he had the BLU Spy in full view. Poor bastard. Maybe he should let the other man have some juicier pictures than just holding hands after all.

In no time at all the food had arrived and he raised an eyebrow when he saw that his date had ordered a rather large hotdog piled high with condiments on his behalf. “Eef I didn’t know better, petite, I would almost zink zat you are encouraging me to play for zee ozzah team, as eet were.”

She snorted and began cutting her sandwich into dainty lady-sized pieces. “Sometimes a hotdog is just a hotdog, dear. Besides, don’t try ta tell me you ain’t fucking some dude silly when yer stuck in that hellhole you call ‘work’.”

As tempted as he was to give his audience a show, the Spy did the same with his hotdog. “Non, zey are far too uptight to entertain zee idea of being wiz a man. Eet eez much more amusing to insinuate and zen watch zem squirm.”

“Well, if ya do hook up with somebody dere, I wanna meet him, too.” She bit down on a slice and then let the fork linger between her lips as she smiled at him. “You’ll do that for me, wontcha?”

He mirrored this action, smirking back with his own shark grin. “I cannot make any promises, but I’ll see what I can do.”