He wears his grin as sloppily as his ragged clothes. “You’re looking at me funny again.”

She’s finally had enough. “You’re supposed to be the hero. You know—come to town, save the day, kill the bad guys.” She pokes a finger into his chest. “But you’re boorish, rude, and a coward besides.”

He pulls back beyond her reach and crosses his arms. “Well, excuse me, princess,” he sneers, drawing out the non-apology in a parody of her voice, “for preferring to keep both of us alive! Unlike you, some of us live in this place called ‘the real world’.”

Unnecessarily Long and Tiresome Authoress’ Notes:
While the ‘fic is rife with Legend of Zelda references (the “come to town” line is paraphrased from a parody that puts lyrics to the original game theme, and “well, excuse me, princess” is from the animated series) I mostly wrote it with Hans Solo and Princess Leia in mind. Although, of course, it also would fit for other characters.