“They think we’re sleeping together.”

“Why not? We’re pretty much inseparable and we already bicker like a married couple.”

“It hasn’t crossed your mind?”

“You’ve got nice assets, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“No, you pervert. I meant romantically.”

“Hm. I don’t think it’d work out. After all, I’m kind of evil.”

“Well, Mother always did say that I would fall for the bad ones.”

“You mean—oh! You’re kidding! Ahahaha!”

“You’re a little slow today.”

“I suppose I find you more distracting than I’d like to admit.”

“Really? Then perhaps I should actually be diligent with that mace.”

Unnecessarily Long and Tiresome Authoress’ Notes:
Written as a challenge for Sayrah, who wanted to read “a very unromantic conversation between two characters that are usually paired as romantic”. I probably should have made things a bit more ambiguous to completely fit her premise, but I like this result.