“You’re one tough nut to crack, Gandalf the Grey. But don’t worry, sooner or later they all crack.”

“My Leige?”

“You know I don’t like being interrupted, Wormtongue.”

“A thousand apologies, my Leige, but this is important. Gollum has stolen the Ring.”

“Gollum? You mean Smeagol. I thought the Nazgul took care of him.”

“Lord Sauron spared him, made him the jester.”

“Ah, yes, I’d forgotten.”

“What shall we do, my Leige?”

“Let the Nazgul handle Smeagol. I still have a Fellowship to find.”

“Very well.”

“Now. Tell me, Gandalf, what do the words ‘Baggins’ and ‘Shire’ mean to you?”

Unnecessarily Long and Tiresome Authoress’ Notes:
I really, really want to expand on this, but I’m afraid it’ll end up on the junk heap like every other massively epic idea I come up with.